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Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Sorry, CAPS....

Greetings Gelflings, Hobbits, and Dwarves,

          It is I, Linus, AKA Lothriel the Great Dragon Slayer of Yore.  I write thee today with dark tidings.  A disturbing movement is afoot which aims to unsettle The Balance firmly established by the early Game Lore Masters.  I speak of course of the the distinction which separates Action from RPG.  Street Fighter from D&D.  You all are, of course, familiar with the unsettling nature of the gameplay rebalancing in Dragon Age 2.  This pandering attempt at serving up Action gameplay in the midst of RPG trappings was unfortunate, and yes it did bring many of the drooling masses into a realm where once before they dared not drool.  But fortunately, a small tweek in the game difficulty settings restored the game to a grueling difficulty level that could only be overcome by micromanaging every character's performance, thus slowing the game down to a delightful almost turn-based RPG pace.  Crime forgiven.  But BEHOLD....

            Yes, my minions!!  Its is true.  The Whore of Babylon is upon us!!!  Gone are the days of decision making, of the 20 sided die.  Done are the hours of deliberations, "What shall I name my pet?" "Should I spec for pure DPS or for a DPS/Tanking hybrid??"  No, my sweets.  We are entering an era of Wham-Bam-Thankya-Mam Fantasy "RPG" Action.  Sexy cut scenes.  Explosions.  Flashy graphics.  Consumer driven, adrenaline junky, filth.  What dark times are these.
          There once was a time when Dragon was a Safe Word.  If the word Dragon was in a title, or if a picture of a Dragon was featured prominently on the side of a game box, an RPG devotee could assume that this was a product pure of heart, free from the tawdry distractions so pleasing to fans of the shoot-em-ups and the side scrolling fighters.  But now?  Where is a young elven mage to turn when even Dragons are not free from the haughty machinations of the Action Pornographers?
         I must retire to my tower and ponder this darkness which has come so quickly upon us.  But while I sit and carefully paint the halberd on my handcrafted Orcs of War figurine, riddle me this...  how can we respond, how can we, the introverts of the gaming community, in our pacifistic nature overcome this wave of destruction?  Who can we turn to to save us, to stand up for us, to make things right again??  There is but one golden voiced witch who comes to mind.  Save us, Bette.  Save us with your SONGS.

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